mental health

rethinking self-esteem

self-esteem is, i think, continuously misunderstood. especially in the aftermath of trauma, abuse, an active dismantling of your confidence. where we go wrong is - i reckon - in the belief that self-esteem can be damaged, altered, repaired. the way i see it, the way i experienced it, is that self-esteem either exists in a person or it does not. you either have it or you don’t. i think that if your self-worth is in question then you don’t have self-esteem - and i think that the idea of a self-esteem that just needs worked on is damaging to all...

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pill-o talk

i went on the pill when i was 17. after suffering through the first year of periods with pain so bad that i couldn’t feel my legs - thinking that this was what every woman went through and that i just wasn’t tough enough - i eventually went to see the GP, who couldn’t believe i had put up with it for so long. we tried various things. NSAIDs, painkillers, but nothing made a difference. they were massacre-victim heavy, lasted a week & a half, and were ruining my life. eventually, a doctor said we could try the pill. i...

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fear and loathing in glasvegas

almost all of my pieces on here take hours to write - i overthink everything as standard, and my writing is the most scrutinised of all my creative outputs.  but this, this is flowing out of me tonight. it won’t be polished and it will be too long, but it’s raw and it’s honest and, i think, it’s important. i’ve been thinking a lot about domestic abuse today - in both general, and personal, terms. it’s something that i’ve aimed to subtly share snippets of at sporadic intervals over the past few months. this is a result of finding the...

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the introversion diagnosis

i’m sick of being called shy. people don’t make me nervous, don’t scare me, don’t intimidate me (much). for years i found myself being the embarrassment of others, found myself being apologised for - ‘she’s just shy’. for years i felt pathetic for not wanting to speak over others, not wanting to be the centre of attention, not wanting to go the party. and for years i told myself that eventually i’d grow up, get a grip, be charming and bubbly and the star of the show.  but i’m not shy. i’m just chronically introverted. talking to people doesn’t frighten...

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the regina george of mental health

raise your hand if you've ever been personally victimised by anxiety i should begin with a disclaimer that this piece contains a certain amount of self-diagnosis which, usually, i condemn above all else but that, after earning a psych degree as the culmination of 4 years of studying the diagnosis criteria for just about every neurological condition under the sun, i feel confident in doing. next up is a confession that, at one point, i would’ve been embarrassed by - but that, now, i realise is a pivotal concern in this nation’s understanding & handling of mental health. until probably this...

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